Are You About to Make a Classic Elder Care Mistake?
One of the things that makes elder care such a difficult topic is that there are very rarely one-size-fits-all solutions. What makes sense for one family, situation, or budget might not work for another. Not only do we all have different preferences for geography and lifestyle, but we also have to consider health, family dynamics, and dozens of other things.
With that in mind, I have learned not to give generalized advice when it comes to figuring out what’s best for you or your aging loved one. One thing I can tell you, though, is to be careful about making a classic elder care mistake.
The situation I’m talking about looks like this: one half of an elderly couple passes away and the adult children, realizing how distraught and disorganized Mom or Dad seems to be, decides to move them into a home or facility.
Certainly, there are times when these sorts of transitions need to happen, but I would caution you about being too quick to make such a decision. Here are a few reasons why…
Your Loved One May Be Depressed and Disoriented
It’s extraordinarily difficult to lose a partner, especially if they have been by your side for decades. In addition to the grief any of us would feel, your loved one might also be dealing with a change in lifestyle or responsibility.
In other words, you might be seeing them at a particularly vulnerable moment. Don’t assume they can’t take care of themselves in the long term just because they are struggling with the immediate aftermath.
A Move Away From Home Might Not Be Necessary
When my father passed away, my mother made it clear she wanted to remain in her own home. To ease my mind and make things easier for her, I arranged for lots of assistance. She got help with laundry, shopping, cleaning, and a handful of other tasks.
Not only did this allow my mom to stay at home, but we saved a great deal of money over what we would have spent moving her to an assisted-living facility.
There Are Probably Other Options to Consider
You probably have more choices than you think, particularly in the short term. It’s possible a relative could stay with your parent while they work through their grief, or that you could get help from counselors, volunteers, or other service providers.
It’s hard to reverse course after you make the decision to move your aging loved one into a nursing home, so it’s worth waiting a little longer to get the decision right the first time.
Will Your Aging Parent Need You to Be Their Care Organizer?
In the process of learning about elder care for my parents, I discovered there are millions of others just like me – adults who want to see their parents and relatives cared for lovingly, but can’t personally look after them every day.
If you think the role of “care organizer” might be in your future, ORDER the book today!
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